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Since there's almost no law or order to consider in this week's Law and Order, indulge my attempt to figure out what the show was trying to say.

The show contained only about twenty minutes of plot, the other twenty minutes consisting of assorted red-herrings that were supposed to be ripped from the headlines. (The third twenty minutes were commercials. Okay, I exaggerate. But only slightly; I read recently that network shows are slowly decreasing the actual amount of time in a one-hour show. Perhaps not coincidentally, reviewers of such shows are slowly increasing the number irrelevant digressions in their reviews.)

The show opens with the crash of a helicopter on one of those downtown-to-the-airport jumps. Six people are killed, including the pilot. Since L&O is about New York City cops, Briscoe and Green are among the first on the scene; the FAA, National Transportation Safety Board, and FBI are nowhere to be found. Amazing. After a lot of meandering, the detectives learn there was a bomb on board - hidden in a gift box from a tony Madison Avenue boutique. The box belonged to Joseph Callister, a successful businessman, so it's pretty clear he's the intended victim.

It seems Joseph had been spending a lot of time with Elias and Valerie Grace, a slick couple who provide inspirational teaching to wealthy business people in exchange for 20% of their income. Joseph was holding out some money, and, it appears, having an affair with Valerie Grace. This gave Elias motive to kill Joseph, which he did, by making a crude bomb, putting it in a little red box, and giving the box to Joseph's wife Maggie to give to him. After Valerie admits to the affair and tells McCoy and Carmichael that Elias knew about it, Elias agrees to plead guilty to six murders and is sentenced to six life terms. (Maggie, who facilitated the bombing, also pleads guilty and gets the same sentence.)

Just when I thought it was safe to turn off the TV, however, there's a twist. Valerie wasn't really having an affair with Joseph - she just made it seem that way to get Elias all riled up. Why, you ask? Well, mostly because she's a nut case. Elias had assaulted her six years earlier. The assault made her feel powerless, and she concocted this involved plot in order to take his power (and all of the money they had accumulated through their weird inspirational cult thing.) When McCoy questions Valerie as to why she begged them to spare Elias the death penalty, she explains she wanted him to live so he would have to sit quietly for a long time, thinking about the fact that he had nothing and Valerie had it all. (It's like a twisted, grown-up version of setting up your first grade nemesis in some crazy finger painting scandal, so he has to sit in the corner for a while.)

First, let's dispose of one annoying red herring. When the detectives first begin to investigate, they think they hear the pilot saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" as the helicopter begins to go down. Lest there be any accusations of subtle racism, he's American (in fact a decorated Vietnam veteran), and says the words in English - not, for example, Arabic (just to pick a language out of a hat). And a little investigation reveals that his wife is ill with lupus and needs a kidney transplant and wouldn't the life insurance money be handy. The pilot's wife insightfully points out, however, that the insurance company would not pay were his death ruled a suicide. This (and the discovery of the bomb in Mr. Callister's package) rules out the Egypt-Air-pilot-suicide theory, but never explains why the pilot was saying "I'm sorry." One of those weird coincidences, I guess.

Maybe he was just sorry.

On the law side, the writers of Law & Order are quite obviously not reading my reviews. They continue to have one lawyer represent two murder suspects - this week we have the same attorney defending both Mr. and Mrs. Grace - when it just shouldn't happen. The marginally interesting wrinkle in this episode is that - while represented by the same lawyer as her husband - Mrs. Grace decides to spill her guts to McCoy and Carmichael, and confirm that she was having an affair with Joe Callister. Elias Grace knows his goose is cooked, so he tries to stop her from talking. It's abundantly clear at this point that the same lawyer shouldn’t be representing them both. Nobody speaks up, however, and for that, they should all be disciplined by the bar. As soon as Valerie started to open her mouth, McCoy should have taken her out of the room and found her another lawyer. He probably would have gotten the same information, without risking that her statements would be tainted. In the end it doesn't matter because Elias Grace decided to plead guilty, and because Mrs. Grace was hell-bent on destroying him.

What works this week is the great characters and the Graces are clearly the highlight. He's slick, oily, unctuous, and the epitome of a used car salesman with a cult following. She's poised and sly, and in the end completely manipulative. Clearly, they were meant for each other. Sitting around one day with one of their loser friends, they invented a religion. Eight years later, they made it a reality. They use phrases like "self actualization," and "negotiating for power." Of course, if there is a cult there must be followers, raising the question of who would take this ridiculous bait. The answer: the dot com millionaire. Rich but vapid, and guilt-ridden by overnight success.

The writers could have just sold the Scientology take-off as a send-up. Instead, however, they went for a twist that doesn't really fit. Valerie Grace played her husband for a sucker, ended up killing six people in the process, and the DA's office can't do anything about it. Rich people really are different from you and me. So, Valerie ends up with Elias' house and money, and the moral of the story can only be, if you’re given a choice between a taxi to the airport and a helicopter ride, take the cab. People who can afford helicopters can be very dangerous.

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