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Elaine Again

This week starts with Ally and Larry talking about how they'll decorate their place for when they move in together. His position: "If we cohabitate, we co-decorate." It's so premature, though: They don't even know which jail he'll be assigned to yet.

Meanwhile, in the midst of Ally and Larry's mock-squabble, they catch Elaine making out with a man-who-is-not-Marc, and then tugging him into her first floor apartment - presumably to consummate their date.

Looks like a major subplot will turn on Marc and Elaine, just when we were about to forget that they were on the show at all. Renee, too, is getting more screen time lately. That seems like a healthy development, as sometimes, this season and last, it has felt like Ally is the Girl in the Plastic Bubble - some of the other characters on the show have gotten so little air time.

Marc In the Dark

Ally confronts Elaine about her apparent cheating on Marc, and Elaine confesses that, indeed, she "slipped." The man was someone she met through a dating service a while ago, she explains, and she is, she says, "extremely ashamed of myself." When the man sends flowers the next day, Elaine claims to Marc that they are really flowers Larry sent to Ally - in a moment perhaps better suited to Three's Company than this show.

Ally, ever the moralist, chastises Elaine for cheating, but still advises her to lie about it - since that's the only way Elaine's relationship with Marc can possibly survive. Elaine tells Ally later that she had to stick with "the lie, the whole lie, and nothing but the lie" - including Elaine's lie that she was with Ally, not the other man, on the night in question. Then Elaine pushes Ally into Marc's office, basically forcing Ally to lie for her.

As Elaine listens at the door, Ally does indeed lie for her - but then Elaine bursts in and confesses to Marc, "I was with another man." She tells Marc she slept with the man, but that she is "not having an affair." (What can that possibly mean? That she didn't sleep with him twice?) Elaine apologizes to Ally, too.

Elaine then, amazingly, consults Fish, of all people, for advice. Why him? Because "you've cheated a lot," she says. Of course, all she gets from him by way of advice is a sexist rant, in which Fish draws on evolutionary psychology to supposedly help Elaine argue that her cheating, and Marc's jealousy, should somehow bring her and Marc together.

Wisely, Elaine avoids Fish's inane explanations. When she visits Marc's office, she simply explains that she cheated because they're not a stable couple; "you still judge me," she says, and "I'm nervous about putting all my eggs in one basket." He shoots back, "So you fertilize them elsewhere." Elaine says they are just "biding time with each other," and they should "quit while they're behind."

The confession of inadequacy seems almost to be a confession of inadequacy by the show, too: This relationship wasn't based on any obvious compatibility between the characters (Elaine is basically characterized as an oversexed slut; Marc, lately, is barely characterized at all), and then it wasn't even allowed to develop over the season - perhaps because there was little to develop.

Certainly, incompatible people do date in real life, too - but there's usually a reason for it. What drew Elaine to Marc, or Marc to Elaine, is still a mystery. As a result, the failure of the relationship seems more like a failure on the writers' part, than on Elaine's.

A Prenup Dustup

At the weekly case conference, Jackson is assigned a Trusts & Estates case in which the fiancée is young and pretty, while the fiancé is fat and ugly - and a pre-nuptial agreement is being negotiated. We know where that's going! On this show, the mating of babe and beast can only lead to trouble. (And to sexist pronouncements that women care only about money and men are only interested in looks).

Soon the couple arrives at the firm. After pawning the fiancée Julie, off on Ally, Jackson takes the fiancé aside to speak with him alone. Jackson points out the financial differences between the two (he's a multimillionaire; she's still got student loans), and convinces the man a tough prenup is a good idea if he'd like to protect his moolah.

Jackson then, with apparent gallantry, takes responsibility for the pre-nap in front of the fiancée, telling her it was hard for him (Jackson) to force the agreement on a man "so much in love."

Of course, the woman is being railroaded here, and Ally sees that clearly - and acts on it decisively, in one of her few truly feminist moves in the show's history. What Ally does is to convince Larry, on the spot, to represent the fiancée since, Ally says, she should have separate counsel.

Jackson responds, "What the hell was that?" Ally shoots back that she's just trying to "make sure everything was on the up-and-up."

Ally's got a good point - not only is it morally better for the fiancée to have counsel, it's also legally better. If Julie doesn't see a separate lawyer, then it will be easier for her to challenge the pre-nap down the road. (Indeed, she's barely consulted with a lawyer at all, let alone a separate one who had her interests at heart; instead, she and Ally made chit-chat while her husband-to-be talked law with Jackson).

Moreover, if Julie doesn't have a separate lawyer, and loses money as a result, she might hit Fish & Cage with a malpractice suit for protecting her husband's interests but not hers. She's a client, too, after all - though Jackson barely seems to realize that.

In short, Ally is protecting not just the wife, but the firm and - to some extent - the husband's long-term interest in having an enforceable agreement. Jackson, on the other hand, is only protecting the husband's short-term interest in having an agreement with terms favorable to him, and unfavorable to his future wife.

Fish, of course, protests that "Ethics have no place in a law firm" when he hears what has happened. But he should be happy that Ally intervened; after all, it's Fish's pockets that are the deep ones.

Jackson Versus Larry

No love is lost as Jackson and Larry go forward with a negotiation conference that turns quite adversarial, as they represent their respective clients, the fiancé and fiancée (neither of whom is present) heatedly, failing to reach agreement on the pre-nap.

The clash continues in Ally and Renee's apartment - and spills over into another issue, that Ally had unwittingly kissed and groped of Jackson in earlier episodes. Larry gets just a bit jealous over the talk of Jackson's "remote" (as the show yet again makes the tired joke of white men's insecurity over black men's superior equipment).

Meanwhile, the husband-to-be - in an angst session with Cage in the firm's bathroom - starts worrying that his fiancée only wants him "for my money." Cage - in a sour mood himself, since he misses Melanie - isn't too much help.

At another conference, the couple initially seems happy, but the lawyers, Larry and Jackson, again get contentious, and start to drive them apart - until the members of the couple physically divide, sliding over in their chairs to sit next to their lawyers, not each other.

This moment touches on a real-life dynamic that can often happen; lawyers, bitter from litigation wins, losses and gambits, can end up further apart and less willing to settle than their clients are. Although this shouldn't happen - lawyers are supposed to represent their clients - human nature being what it is, it certainly does.

On the show, this dynamic threatens to turn to disaster. Later, the husband-to-be calls the wedding off, accusing his wife-to-be of being a "gold digger." But Cage - running into them in the co-ed bathroom - brings them back together, saying that lawyers, of all people, should not come between them. To the sounds of Elaine retching (it's just after her breakup with Marc), the couple pledges eternal love.

"What God has joined together," Cage - who seems to have gotten over his snit - announces, "let no lawyer tear asunder." The couple hugs, and Jackson remarks to Cage, "Should you and I hug?" As usual, Taye Diggs' delivery is perfect - not too sarcastic, but not too sincere, either.

Poor, But Happy?

Meanwhile, Ling represents a man who is accused by his son of being incompetent - that is, not able to run the family business in his role of CEO. The problem? A blood clot resulting from a blow renders the CEO/father euphoric.

As the case begins, Ling performs an acute cross-examination, getting the son to admit that his father isn't crazy, he's just "too happy to be a good CEO." And later, Ling performs an excellent direct examination of the CEO - giving him room to explain that he's not crazy; he is only an ex-curmudgeon who has begun to believe in the quality of life.

The cross-examination by the opposing lawyer scores some points, too, though - showing the CEO is still chuckling despite his wife's cancer, and his over-a-million-dollar loss in the past year. Yet Ling regains her advantage when the CEO's wife gets on the stand and testifies that she loves her husband's new personality, even though he doesn't empathize with her cancer. Even when challenged as to whether her husband is "the same man," she affirms that he is -- "just kinder." The CEO then blows his wife a kiss charmingly.

The son wants to settle at that point - as he should; Ling is winning by a mile - and so a settlement meeting is arranged. The opposing lawyer pleads, at the meeting, "There's got to be a way to divide power here, and avoid this trainwreck." There is: deus ex machina. In the middle of the conference, they are told that the CEO's wife has passed away, from heart failure. The news breaks into the CEO's normal good cheer, but only slightly and for a moment; the CEO is eerily cheerful just moments after hearing the news. Asked if he's okay, he responds, "Unfortunately, I am."

Ling is weirded out to find her client, the CEO, whistling and playing with desk tchotchkes. But he announces he has decided to have the blood clot drained - and thus go back to his former, unhappy self - because his wife is gone and "I can't cry." "I need to grieve," he explains. Ling reminds him how unhappy he was before, but he says, "I want to cry for my wife." Awww. That ouch! you feel is the pain from your heartstrings being tugged.

Ling manages to break through her bitch persona to be genuinely concerned about the operation - even visiting the CEO in the hospital. (Apparently Ling has a soft spot for elderly men with brain problems; remember her elderly dance partner who hallucinated strange pygmies?) Look for her to brutally break up with Fish in a future episode, just to remind us she's still quite the bitch.

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Unfortunately, after the operation - just as predicted - the CEO turns out to be even bitchier than Ling at her worst, annoying everyone in the vicinity - although he does, at least, pet a picture of his wife a bit.

Shamelessly, the show ends with some shots of the CEO, recovering from his operation and his grief, and using his walker. Awww. There should have been Elaine retching in the background once again.

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